To say that we have an open marriage would be a mistake. Troy is not allowed to exercise his sexual freedom although I do give him quite a bit of sexual satisfaction. I might even let him have another woman someday if it pleases me. But it is about my pleasure first. It was Troy who confessed to a desire to see me with another man first and before proceeding down that path with him, I made it clear that this would not be a two way street.
Since then I have allowed him to watch me take another man. I have allowed him to participate and at times have had more than two men attend to me. I have also taken a man alone without Troy but to be honest I did not enjoy this as much as you would imagine. There was something about being alone with another man that felt to me like cheating. While having Troy there even if he is just watching and not directly participating, makes it feel different. His approval is explicit. In fact, he enjoys my dalliances. I can see the lust in his eyes when another man is exciting me. I don’t know that I understand where this feeling springs in him but it turns me on in a way that just being with another doesn’t.
I feel that we are still in the early stages of our exploration. Unfortunately real life doesn’t always provide a lot of opportunity. I am looking forward to our next vacation and the possibilities that might bring.